5 WAYS TO SELF SABOTAGE YOUR NY RESOLUTIONS
We’ve all done it - dreamt of a sparkling ‘New Year - New Me!’, made a bog load of sweeping New Years resolutions and then by the start of February, we’ve not only fallen off the wagon, we’ve also set fire to the b'stard and buried it under the weight of our guilt.
So, if you’re over it already, here are 5 easy ways you can self sabotage your good intentions....
1. Resolution - I WON'T USE MY CREDIT CARD *tears up cards*
Simply add all your credit cards to PayPal before you tear them up and hey presto, you can milk those babies until the cows come home. As you’ve ripped them up, you can technically tell yourself you don’t own any credit cards. Who needs the actual plastic?
2. Resolution - I AM ONLY EATING HEALTHY FOODS *shops in organic market whilst wearing an alice band*
Add the words ‘organic’, ‘raw’, ‘spiralized’ or ‘natural’ to everything you serve up.
’Look darling, I’ve made this delicious natural cheese board for supper. WTF do you mean you don't 'do' dairy’
3. Resolution - I AM GOING TO GET FIT *buys gym membership*
Trick yourself in to the fact you’ve exercised already or are about to go hit the gym by permanently wearing work out clothes and muttering about how tired your legs are. Job done.
4. Resolution - PRACTICE MINDFULNESS *ommmmmm*
Sit cross legged in front of the TV and put on a shopping channel. Repeat until you fall asleep or wish you were dead.
5. Resolution - REDUCE ALCOHOL INTAKE *becomes actual nun*
Hide all your wine in cute water bottles around the house. Swig casually whilst wearing gym gear. Hic.