In our series of Love Letters to an old friend, I decided that Patience needed a reminder I was still here....
Do you mind if I call you that? I mean Mrs Patience sounds too formal and Big P a little too slangy for you. I was only talking about you the other day and I reckon last time I saw you properly was when you were helping me to clear out the loft - god that was a hideous job and must be 8 years ago now.
To be honest, I didn’t really notice you’d gone away at first. I think the rest of my family did, along with the odd friend and a few people at work. No one seemed to mention you that much but.... I think that’s because they were scared.
I don’t want this to be awkward but I suppose I should fill you in on a few times you really should have been there for me.
... There was that time in the shopping centre when I couldn‘t find a parking space and I was late for an appointment. Maybe if you’d been around I wouldn’t have panicked and parked in a disabled bay, ending up with a massive fine. (this was despite me convincingly dragging my ‘withered leg’ across the car park).
... When my daughter wanted me to take her shopping for a prom dress at Bluewater but I decided that I’d rather boil my head in a vat of hot oil. Probably should have sucked that one up and I blame you.
... The time Ryanair lost my suitcase at Dublin airport for ten hours when I was going for a two night conference. I’m sure if you’d bother to turn up it would have possibly stopped me from having a melt down and calling the luggage duty officer a ‘useless tw*t‘ to his face and then giving a huge eye roll to the hotel receptionist who offered me an emergency vanity pack that contained two cotton wool pads, a cotton bud, toothpaste and some paper knickers. Yes really. Toothpaste but no toothbrush!
Look, these are very specific examples, but daily I’d appreciate some back up if it’s not too much to ask... I don’t want to sound like I’m full of hot air but I need you most;
1. At any train station AND whilst on a train if there is any mention of the D word. (D = delay).
2. Ditto above for airports, aeroplanes, passport control.
3. For any GP appointment where there is a high chance of me arriving 10 minutes early but being seen an hour past my set time.
4. At an Asda check out when they ask me what I’m doing today. I AM FKIN SHOPPING.
5. When I’ve got to do anything to do with IT. Forever.
Sorry, I really think I need more patience....
When does your patience run out?