MENOPAUSE: THE FAB AND NOT SO FAB

There is a list going around the internet at the moment with the 40 negative symptoms of peri-menopause and menopause. Whilst of course we acknowledge it isn’t always a walk in the park, here at FF we also try to see the funny and positive side of life.

So, we have taken just 20 symptoms off that list, added a bit of humour, plus compiled our own list of POSITIVE symptoms.

You’re not going crazy…it’s the menopause

TOP 20 NOT SO FABULOUS SYMPTOMS

1. Hot flushes (Yup. Got the t-shirt. A wet one)

2. Cold flushes (Wah! Why both?)

3. Night sweats (An excuse to sleep alone?)

4. Irritability (Aarrrggh)

5. Mood swings (Yes. No. I said yes and no.)

6. Trouble sleeping (Yawns)

7. Low sex drive (Get off me)

8. Dry down below (Cream up girls)

9. Heck, dry everywhere (More cream)

10. Anxiety (Nothing funny about this)

11. Poor concentration (What did you say again?)

12. Incontinence (See our post about Carol Smillie’s pants…)

13. Itchy skin (Bet you are scratching now?)

14. Aching joints (See your GP if intolerable)

15. Headaches (As above)

16. Weight gain (Eat less. Move more. Easier said than done)

17. More facial hair (Electrolysis will now be your best friend)

18. Weakened fingernails (Ditto local nail salon)

19. Electric shock feelings (Stay grounded)

20. Dizziness (As above)

Life isn’t that bad…it’s just the menopause

TOP 20 FABULOUS SYMPTOMS

1. You are still alive! Hurrah for that!

2. You care less about what others think of you

3. NO MORE PMT

4. NO MORE PERIODS

5. No more menstrual cramps

6. No more food cravings every month

7. No more monthly bloating

8. You can wear white ALL the time and not worry

9. Extra cash as you are no longer buying sanitary products

10. You can’t get preggers (This is only a positive for some women)

11. You have the perfect excuse to be in a bad mood

12. Ditto, if you aren’t in the mood for getting jiggy

13. Fibroids stop growing, or shrink, as oestrogen levels decline

14. It is the perfect time to take stock of your life and make changes if need be - often called a ‘menopausal zest’

15. Which in turn often leads to a feeling of greater empowerment and self-assurance

16. You get to bond with other women over a universal happening (hurrah for Feeling Flushers!)

17. It is a time of life when (hopefully) you have more time for yourself

18. As hormone levels stabilise, post-menopause, many women feel the best they have for years

19. You’ll have less colds – yes, really – your immune system gets used to familiar viruses

20. There are currently 13 MILLION women going through the menopause in the UK.

WE ARE NOT ALONE.

#FFS #FeelingFlush